Bucket List

by Bud Focht

Hi, my name is Bud and since my wife Terry and I were told it was “Bucket List” time we have begun checking off the top items on our “Bucket List”.

Rob Reiner, the former “Meathead” on the All in the Family television show of the 1970s who went on to be an award winning movie director, coined the phrase “Bucket List” with his movie of that title almost 10 years ago, about doing all the things you ever wanted to do before you “kicked the bucket”.

Terry and I just spent a glorious week on the oldest of the “sandwich islands.”

Kauai (rhymes with Hawaii for those of you that don’t speak the language of King Kamehameha), is known as the Garden Island because it is the most beautiful of the Hawaiian Islands.  

That is not just my opinion, but that of Hollywood.

On our trip Terry and I saw the waterfall that can be seen in the beginning of all of the Fantasy Island TV shows (near us on East Coast) of the 1970s.  We walked on the beach where Mitzi Gaynor tied to “wash that man right out of her hair” in the movie South Pacific (North Shore) and where they filmed the first season of Gilligan’s Island. We saw where Elvis filmed Blue Hawaii (West Coast) and speaking of the King, we saw where the natives of fictitious Skull Island tied up the women that they were offering to King Kong.  We walked under the archway and cave that is in Pirates of the Caribbean as well as Avatar (I saw this big blue guy on the beach but I just thought he was part of the Blue Man Group, or just cold).  We walked on the beach that is in Six Days and Seven Nights and speaking of Harrison Ford, we were on the beach where Indiana Jones was during the beginning of the movie The Raiders of the Lost Ark. We saw and I heard Bali Hai (North Shore) calling me, from the car and we flew over it in a helicopter, as well as fly into the canyon with the waterfall that is in the Jurassic Park movies.

British explorer James Cook was the first visitor to the Hawaiian Islands right around the time the United States were declaring their independence and he called them the Sandwich Islands. Not sure why. While we were there we had some fresh sushi that was caught that very day, a coconut fresh off the tree, fish tacos, a pineapple (we stole from the field, don’t tell), macadamia nuts and poi, but no sandwiches. (if you like poi you were probably that kid in kindergarten who ate paste).  

I received a few e-mails while we were away inquiring as to why I hadn’t updated this blog recently. Some feared the worst. (sorry to worry you, Terry is fine). Some people who knew me figured I just got lazy. And some said they missed my “weird sense of humor.”

As I said, when my Terry was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease in the spring, we were told it is ‘Bucket List” time.

Well, as Samuel Clemens (did he pitch for the Red Sox and Yankees?) once said, “The secret source of humor is not joy, but sorrow.”

There has been a lot of sorrow since that spring day, but the reason I have not written is because the last week was pure joy.

Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain for those of you who don’t know your American authors and humorists) also called the Hawaiian Island the Sandwich Islands when he visited here and wrote about the inhabitants. Among other great things Mark Twain did, he said something that was very similar to what one of my childhood heroes, Groucho Marx, said.  Groucho was famous for, among many other things, saying “I wouldn’t join any club that would have someone like me as a member.”

Long before Groucho and his famous brothers, Twain said: “I wouldn’t have a girl I was worthy of. She wouldn’t do.”

That is very close to the way I feel about my Terry. As Mike Myers said in the movie Wayne’s World (not filmed in Kauai), “I’m not worthy”.

In our 32 years of marriage, as well and as the three plus years we dated, she has made me happier than I know I deserve to be. I am truly not worthy of the happiness she has brought me.

But I digress. Back to the “Bucket List”.

I have read that the essence of any good “Bucket List” consists of overcoming fears, achieving goals and realizing dreams. Whether it is an exotic adventure half-way around the world or simply spending more time with family and friends, as long as you experience all the good things life offers.

Life dealt us a pretty shitty hand recently. I guess it is payback time for all of the great things we have experienced. We have three great kids, we come from great families who help and support us and we have great friends.

I’m afraid we’re going to have to skip the ‘overcoming fears’ part. For the life of me I could not get Terry to do the Zip Line in Kauai. (although she was a real trooper during the breath-taking helicopter ride and the scenic boat ride around the island when we got soaked)

I have been achieving goals, however. Since we got the news about Terry’s condition my main goal has been to provide her with the highest quality of life I could, as long as I could. One of her dreams since we honeymooned in Hawaii was to someday get back there, and with the help of family and friends we have realized that dream. We had an exotic adventure half-way around the world (don’t get me started on our 19-hour travel days) and we’ve been spending much more time with our family and friends.

We are experiencing all the good things that life has to offer. Before the really bad things come.

So my advice to you is to get started on your own “Bucket List.” Don’t wait until you are told that time is running out, because it is running out on all of us.

Start making a list, check it twice (wait, that’s Santa), and start checking things off.  Don’t wait.

As Mark Twain said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”

Until next time,

Bud