Take Your Spouse to Work Day

By Bud Focht

Hi, my name is Bud and lately I have been taking my wife Terry to work with me.

Not every day, and not for all day, just when I have to work weekends and weekday evenings. On long days I go home at lunch time and bring Terry back with me.

Back in 1993 the Ms. Foundation for Women came up with Take Your Daughter to Work Day.  The foundation was acting on research that showed adolescent girls received less attention than boys, so this day was to give girls additional direct attention and an insight into work world opportunities available to them. It was to serve the multiple purpose of increased self-esteem for young girls as well as give them some ideas of the wealth of careers in the world. It also allowed them more one-on-one time with mom or dad.

When I was young my father took me to work with him a few times. He was an electrician who would wire newly built houses.  He worked with my grandfather, his father, so it was a real family affair.

I even got paid, sort of.

My father would pay me five cents an hour, but anytime I would lose my tools, which consisted of a hammer and two screw drivers (regular and Philips head), I would owe him a nickel.  At the end of the day I always owed him more money than I made.

Maybe that’s why I never went into the construction business.

With the end of summer and the beginning of the academic school year, my hours at work double.  There are many evenings that I have to attend a sporting contest and a weekend does not go by that I don’t have to work either Saturday or Sunday, many times both.

The good news is that I only travel to away games during the winter, so in the fall and spring I just cover the home games in person. With modern technology I can cover the away games using the internet and me cell phone.

So now when we have home games that I have to cover, Terry attends them with me.

Like Take Your Daughter to Work Day, bringing Terry to these games serves multiple purposes.

First of all, she enjoys it. She has always been interested in sports. She grew up in New England a big fan of Providence College basketball, Boston Red Sox baseball and New England Patriots football. And in college she played varsity tennis and ran on the track & field team.

Growing up in a large family full of brainiacs, she was the jock.

I used to buy my father a subscription to Sports Illustrated every year, and when the next issue would arrive, he would give me last week’s edition (my mother didn’t raise no fool).  When I got the magazine I would read about one-third to one-half of the stories, just the ones that interested me, but Terry would read that thing from cover to cover.

She really likes sports.

Secondly, it is much easier for Terry to follow athletic contests than it is for her to read a book or watch television or a movie.

Terry’s Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease prevents her from enjoying books and movies as much as she used to. When she reads a book, by the time she finishes a chapter, she cannot remember what happened in the previous chapter. Same with watching movies, it is hard for her to follow the plot.

But in sports, there is always a scoreboard that tells you who is winning, what the score is and how much time is left or what inning it is.  Although there have been a couple of times when, at half time, Terry had to ask me how we were doing.

I’m afraid things like that are happening more and more frequently.

Which brings me to the third reason, similar to Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, more one-on-one time. We don’t have as much of that in our future as we should.

The fourth and most important reason I have been bringing my wife to work with me is for peace of mind.

When I work late I used to rush my job, probably not do as good of a job as I should, because I was thinking of her, worried about her, and not concentrating on my job. Not putting the amount of time in needed to do the job right, or at least to do the job to the best of my abilities.

But with Terry at the game with me, I am in no rush. I am not in any hurry to rush home because she is with me.

So if people think she might be a distraction to me with her being at the game, in reality it is just the opposite. Having her at the game allows me to concentrate MORE on my job.

Terry began making road trips with me a few winters ago, when the kids were grown and on their own, no longer needing a parent to be home with them.

Over the last two years, since Terry’s diagnosis, she has been making almost all of the road trips with me, at least the ones that I could drive to.

This winter she is even flying to Cancun with me for a basketball tournament I have to attend.

Having Terry with me at these games is great for both of us.

I realize there will come a time in the not-to-distant future when, for an assortment of reasons, I will no longer be able to do this. But for now, every week has a few Take Your Spouse to Work Days in it.

Until next time, I will be taking Terry to work with me, and we both will be enjoying it.

Bud